Misconceptions about being Infertile — May 23, 2017

Misconceptions about being Infertile

There are many misconceptions about having infertility that I am not quite sure people are aware of. I’ll be going through some of them because they have affected me in more ways than one. Here goes my list of misconceptions.

  1. All people with infertility will be resentful of those who are able to get pregnant. This isn’t true…not fully anyway. When I was first diagnosed (and everyone knew this) it was very hard for me to process what I couldn’t have. I basically had tunnel vision and was only focusing on myself and a year and half later I realize that wasn’t the right thing to do. However, I learned a lot from last year. One major lesson was that I could be happy for my family and friends that are pregnant because I know that’s where they are at this time in their lives. They are getting married and planning on expanding their families. I am not upset or angry but actually the opposite. I am extremely happy for all my friends and family who have been able to get pregnant and have babies. Shout out to my sister who is pregnant with her first child! I am very excited for her because I know this is something she’s wanted for quite a while! I am very happy to love on this sweet new addition to our family and become an aunt again!!!
  2. I have a HUGE support system when in reality I have a handful of people who truly care. This isn’t a post to shame people but to be honest. There are very few people who’ve reached out to find out what’s going on. This journey has been very tough and unless your my husband, my mom, my dad or someone super close to me, you probably don’t know every single detail. This is because when something like this happens a lot of people don’t know what endometriosis is and can’t understand why plans are cancelled or why I’m just not feeling up to getting out for coffee or lunch. It’s not your fault, I just need lots of rest in order to feel like I can function. Plus, flare up’s from endometriosis are no joke. They last for any length of time and unless you have a serious game plan of how to get rid of them, you just have to wait it out. Shout out to my friends and family who have been my side, come to visit me in the hospital, and called or texted to check up on me. You all are the people I know I will have by my side for a long time to come.
  3. I’m not always sad. There are days that I have that are discouraging or not exactly the result I was hoping for but I pick myself back up and keep going. I know I’ve said something similar in a previous post but I allow myself time to mourn or wallow in pity. I do this because if I don’t my emotions will build up leading to a disaster. Sometimes I feel like when we go two steps forward we go one step back. I knew that going into this that it wouldn’t be easy. I knew this would be all consuming and that’s something I am still trying to manage. Don’t get me wrong there are still some days when I just want to lay in bed and wonder what the future is going to bring but I won’t do that. I pick myself up, get ready for the day and remain hopeful of what the universe has in store for us.
  4. I think this is the biggest misconception and annoyance for anyone going through infertility issues. “How to get pregnant advice”. This could not be more frustrating for me. I have people say “you need to just get drunk one night and do it…that’s how people get pregnant, you’re putting too much pressure on yourselves. But I don’t know much about what you’re situation is so that’s just my advice.” First of all, this is not only offensive but unnecessary. Do you honestly think if it were that easy I’d be going to reproductive endocronologist who has an extensive background in helping couples with fertility issues get pregnant? No, I wouldn’t. I am seeing this doctor because I have a disease that prevents women like myself from getting pregnant. It would be so easy for me to brush it off and act like that’s what I want to hear because that person thinks they’re being helpful but in reality they’re just making things worse. Telling me to relax and not stress is much easier said than done. When you have to seek these opinions of professionals because you don’t have any other options there is going to stress involved. I just think people should keep their how-to-get-pregnant-advice to themselves because they have no idea how much hurt they can cause a woman with infertility; especially if the “advice” was unsolicited.

That’s just my late night brain dump. I am always writing about random topics… mostly that tie into what’s going on in our world with fighting this disease. Please continue to send positive vibes and thoughts our way as we are getting closer and closer to one day bringing baby Young into the world.

xoxo

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Plans That Do Not Go According to Plan — May 19, 2017

Plans That Do Not Go According to Plan

Do you ever just map out how your life or something really important in your life is going to go and then get really disappointed when things just don’t work out? Well that’s me; sting here at 1am with some very intense pain in my lower back and lower abdomen. I can never sleep so why not write a bit and try to calm down a bit to see if I can sleep? At least its thunderstorming so I can listen to that and be in peace.

Over the last year and half I’ve had plans of how everything was going to go. After surgery one in February 2016 I had a goal that I was going to get healthy and the endometriosis wouldn’t grow back (had I known then what I know now I would have just discarded all my plans). But as we all know March comes and so does surgery number 2. After March I decided I wasn’t going to focus on the negative and see how this “experience” would help me grow emotionally, mentally and physically. Well that didn’t work because I became very bitter and angry. Angry at the universe for giving me a disease that has no cure, no medication to control it and no way of knowing how bad it really its or how much of it has grown back without surgery. I cut myself off from my friends and even my family because all I wanted to do was be alone. I wanted to sit and think and really open my soul up to the universe and just try to figure out how to get out of the rut I was in. So I focused on our wedding, which was the best distraction I could have asked for. Planning our wedding was the most fun I’ve ever had! When August rolled around I had so much going on, I was finishing my year at Miss Captivating, in the final 8 weeks until we got married and then surgery 3 was scheduled unexpectedly. By this point I’d gained 25 pounds and just didn’t feel like myself. I had given up on looking good for the pageant because at that point there was no hiding the weight gain but I wanted to be present for that event and kind of shut my brain off that weekend. After surgery 3 we were in the clear (or so I thought). The final stages of putting our wedding together were going perfectly. Everything had been done and there were just a few last minute things to get for our reception. And the rest of the year went so well. We had consulted with my OB/GYN but for 3 months nothing. As newlyweds I knew that trying wasn’t going to be easy. Then out of nowhere surgery 4. The big one. The one that for me was the hardest. I think my body was in so much shock from the previous surgeries that it really had no recovery time; in 12 months I’d had 4 surgeries. In January I got really discouraged and we kept trying until this spring when we went to see Dr. K. at KHN. Ever since we’ve been going through this regimen and I’m hoping it works.

Last month was a true example of how things didn’t go according to plan. Last month I had my first round of Clomid, followed by a trigger shot and timed intercourse. And let me tell you that’s really awkward to hand your husband a schedule and say these are the days we need to try for a baby. We did exactly what the doctor and the morning I took a test I couldn’t look at it. I peed on the stick like you always do and then put it in the box. When Russell and I looked at the results, which was a negative, I broke. I never knew I wanted something so badly until that moment. At that moment I went back to bed and just cried. I realized then that this entire process is about not having anything go according to plan. I have to give up all my expectations because if I don’t I will continually be let down. This entire time I’ve had a plan but at some point I have to give everything I have to the universe and say ” Okay. I give my everything to you. You will bless us with a baby when you feel the time is right.” I ask the Goddess of Fertility for her help because I know she is looking over us.

Throughout this process I’ve had to learn how to love and let go. Let go of the baggage I’ve been carrying around. Let go of the negativity. Let go of this idea that having a baby later in life is a bad thing. Let go of the judgments I’ve placed upon myself. Let go of the what if’s. There are so many things that don’t go accordingly to plan but if having a baby means not sticking to any agenda, I’ll take it. We’re patiently waiting for our sweet bun to come to us. Until then, I’ll just keep writing and hoping we are making progress.

xoxo

Mothers Day 2017 — May 11, 2017

Mothers Day 2017

Please stop asking if I’ll be okay this Mother’s Day. Yes I understand the significance of the day and how I’m struggling to conceive myself. However, I am still able to spend mother’s day with my three awesome doggies and husband… after all I did become a fur-mama almost 9 years ago when I surprised Russell with Lena!!! Not to mention I get to celebrate my WONDERFUL, AMAZING, puts-up with all my shenanigans mother!

For me mother’s day isn’t about dwelling on what I don’t have but rather being thankful for what I do have. I have an awesome mom (and step-mom) that I am blessed to walk through life with. I think of the numerous times a day I call her to tell her the most random things. LOL. But for me Mother’s Day is about celebrating all mothers, including those who may not have children on earth but have children watching over them. You, sweet sister are still a mother, no matter what anyone else says. I believe this holiday will afford you the blessings and light you may have been looking for.

While our journey hasn’t been easy or as long as some other people I know, I do know that we are on the right track. Yes, I do have down days where I can’t seem to think my way out of what is going on; so I sit and let my emotions surround me and with every breath I take I feel how deeply my emotions are effecting me. Once some time has passed, I am usually able to get through anything. Which is why I don’t want anyone else asking if I’m going to be okay on Sunday. I want people to celebrate the amounts of achievements we’ve had this year. I want to celebrate being a strong woman, one in which is putting her body through the ringer in order to conceive a baby. I want people to understand that I have stage four endometriosis but that I won’t let it define me.

Now, please understand that I feel for any woman who has lost a child. I can’t imagine what that feels like. My hope for you this Mother’s Day is to remember them how they were, what they would look like and what their voice would sound like if they were to call you ‘Mom’. I know it sounds painful but in sad moments we can find joy. So find joy on Mother’s Day. Smile. Laugh. Cry happy tears. Be with your loved ones and know that they understand what you are going through. Life is forever changed when we lose someone we love. Milestone holidays become big days and days we often run from. Let’s not run from our fears but instead face them with every fiber of our being. Because at the end of the day in order to get passed a challenge we must go through it. We can not go through a challenge if we are not ready. Each woman is going to be different. Each woman may not agree with what I’ve said.

I don’t want to be asked if I’ll be okay for major holidays just because others have children and I don’t (right now). Mother’s Day is about celebration for me; fun memories; loving times. I hope when the day arises and you may not be feeling like getting out of bed, you remember the purpose of your being; to stay strong even when you feel like giving up.

Until Next Time,

xoxox

Day 5 of National Infertility Awareness Week! — April 27, 2017

Day 5 of National Infertility Awareness Week!

Fast Facts About Infertility
Did you know that national infertility awareness week began in 1989?
 
And not just women suffer from infertility, men can have infertility issues as well.
 
7.4 million people suffer from infertility.
 
Approximately 85-90% of infertility cases are treated with drug therapy or surgical procedures. Fewer than 3% need advanced reproductive technologies like in vitro fertilization (IVF) 
Number of married women aged 15-44 that are infertile (unable to get pregnant after at least 12 consecutive months of unprotected sex with husband): 1.0 million
I’m telling you these fast facts because the theme of this years National Infertility Awareness Week is Listen Up! The goal this year is to educate people who many not fully understand what infertility is…a crippling disease. I have been diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis for about a year and half, however, from what the doctors have concluded I have had since I was a teenager. I had my first ovarian cysts when I was 12. It ruptured right before my mom was to take us to school. I was always a drama queen so she didn’t quite know what was going on and thought my pain wasn’t as bad as I said it was. Come to find out my cysts had ruptured and from that time on I had the worst periods I’ve ever had. Please listen when your friends who are suffering from infertility say they need time or space away. Most days (for me at least) I want to be alone. I don’t want to be around others because I am reminded of what may never come. I cancel plans and don’t go to functions, not because I don’t want to but because I simply can’t.  I know I have been a bad friend but some days I simply don’t care because that feeling my friends get when I don’t go to function is magnified times ten because I feel like an even worse wife. What I hope you gain from reading this is the knowledge that this disease can’t be seen, it is felt. It’s felt in the terms of pain and the emptiness a woman feels each month when she isn’t able to conceive. Infertility sucks. Infertility is lonely. Many people don’t understand and won’t try to understand for one reason or another. I just hope this week you’ve learned something new because every bit of knowledge will help increase the chances that one day infertility treatments will be covered by insurance in all 50 states, there will be advanced ways to detect endometriosis and women will have more options to conceiving a baby.
Until next time,
xoxoxo 
Sweet Saturdays — April 15, 2017

Sweet Saturdays

So I haven’t had a Saturday off since my last surgery. I can tell you it feels weird and even when I had more corporate job I worked in the morning on Saturdays. (I always have Sundays off because I truly believe Sundays aren’t meant to be worked. And I sure love a good football or baseball game on Sunday!)

So we haven’t been up to much since my last post a few weeks ago. I’m stilling our IVF doctor and just completed my first round of Clomid! I can say that the hot flashes are the worst. And I can’t tell which ones were worse… the ones form Lupron or the ones from Clomid. I didn’t have many side effects, except for the occasional headache and I was able to manage those just fine. I had no nausea or vomitting like the directions said I could so that’s a good thing. I did feel a throbbing in my lower right side which the doc said would be normal as my eggs are hopefully getting bigger! AND we had 4 eggs when we started so hopefully on Tuesday when I go for my next ultrasound we will see some pretty good looking eggs.

I can say when all this started I never realized how difficult it would be. I just thought I would have surgery to treat the endometriosis and be on my merry way. I never realized what this disease could do to a person both mentally and physically. I guess you just never know what you are able to withstand until you are faced with adversity. I can say that our families and friends have been really supportive and loving during this time. As I mentioned in a post earlier this week, we do have a plan in place but I won’t be as open about our plan as everything else. Our plan is something we decided together and we’d like to keep it private until we are able to get pregnant.

Speaking of getting pregnant, did you know Russell told me he really wants a January baby?! I had no idea he wanted a winter baby until about a month ago when we politely asked if we could have one around his birthday…more specifically he said he wanted one with his Zodiac sign! I couldn’t help but laugh because I said you can’t request what month your baby is born in. He said he could and is adamant that we’ll have more than one and one will be a January baby. This just goes to show you that even throughout all this stress and heartache does come laughter, which is the best kind of medicine!

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter weekend and are enjoying this weather!

Until Next Time,

xoxo

It might take a year, it might take a day but what’s meant to be will always find it’s way — April 9, 2017

It might take a year, it might take a day but what’s meant to be will always find it’s way

The quote above was what I needed to read this week. I’ve been seeing a lot of pineapples in the most random places and each time I see one I am reminded that a miracle baby will eventually (hopefully soon) be on his or her way.

As most of you know I was on a medication called Aygestin last month. It is a fertility medication that stops your reproductive organs for a brief period of time (mine was 3 weeks). This is to help try to kill off some of the endometriosis and shrink the endometrioma. Well the medication worked in that aspect. I had three more new and growing cysts and the aygestin was able to get rid of them! Yay! I had an ultrasound that showed I had a really healthy egg and we were told to try and if I didn’t get my period I would go in to see if they could find out if we were pregnant. Well I ended up getting my period a few days ago. I’m not going to lie or sugar coat it…I was disappointed, sad, angry, frustrated, and had that feeling of being let down. I gave myself that 10 minutes to cry and be upset and then I immediately called Dr. K’s office. I have an appointment Monday for an ultrasound to make sure my eggs are still healthy and hopefully there are a few more that come out dormancy since the endometrioma has shrunk. I was told  by the nurse on the phone we will be going straight to clomid. This medication is more aggressive (in a good way). This will allow our doctor to closely monitor the rest of my cycle, doing some testing and tell us the exact day that is best for conception.

All of this is so exciting to me and I am thinking of how things could work and how our lives could change in an instant. I’ve rearrange the house and done all of my spring cleaning, including clearing out the garage, because the day I am told we are pregnant I want to enjoy every moment of being pregnant. So often I see women complain about how they don’t want to be pregnant anymore once they hit month 7 or 8. But what those women fail to realize is women like me and many many others would give anything to know what it feels like to have a baby growing inside you. I see little comments every day that bother me because from my perspective they are taking their pregnancy for granted because there are so many women who are not blessed with the opportunity to have a child.

To my friends and family with children. Hug them a little closer each time you see them because one of your friends could be going through something so unimaginably lonely and you may not know. Remember 1 of 8 women suffer from endometriosis. 1 in 8.

Please send us all the baby dust in the upcoming weeks. I am hopeful that we can conceive our little miracle baby!

until next time

xoxo

Endometriosis Awareness Month — March 21, 2017

Endometriosis Awareness Month

All month long I’ve tried to think of what to write. For some reason the words are there but I can’t seem to formulate the right sentences to create a coherent blog post. Here’s my best attempt to put everything into words 🙂

March is endometriosis awareness month. I’ve been reading stories all month from women sharing their stories, their fears, their goals, and what they hope they can accomplish by sharing what they’ve been through. The stories I’ve read all vary from women who have just been diagnosed to women who have known they’ve had this disease for a few years or more. Then I read one where a husband shared his point of view on what it’s like to take care of someone with endo. The story was awe inspiring. For me it touched a special place in my heart. It made me feel vulnerable in a way that I started crying. His words were so sweet and kind. He was gentle when he described the way he cares for his wife daily. I think that’s something that most people who don’t have this disease realize. When a man decides to marry a woman with this disease, he is marrying someone who is going to be tired, sick, and have flare up’s so bad nothing but an ER visit can take away the pain. Naturally, when I was reading this blog post I thought of Russell. I think of every day when I have to tell him my back hurts, or the cramps are more than cramps. Ironically its been 365 days since my 2nd surgery… ya know the one where they had no choice but to take out my left tube and ovary. It was that hospital stay that I asked him “Are you sure you want to marry me? What if I can’t give you children?” It was in that moment of imperfection, laying in a hospital bed, so drugged and sick that he told me he loves me for everything I am and if we can’t have kids then we have each other. Ladies, the one thing I know about Russell is how much he wants a family. His desire to have a family is strong. When a man marries a woman with endometriosis he marries the idea that children may not come. I thank the universe for Russell every day. My husband is an endo husband. He takes care of me. He tries to make my pain go away and comfort me when I’m at my worst. If you or someone you know has an endo husband, hug them tight. They are hard people to find. They are like finding a needle in a haystack. Endometriosis can put stress on a couple. It can make you both for guilty. Us women feel guilty for our spouses because we are keeping them from a healthier person. At least that’s one of my biggest guilty feelings. I tell Russell all the time that he could have been with anyone else. The guilt of being sick all the time creeps in and makes me feel awful. I think that’s why I needed to read a story about a couple going through endometriosis, and the article being written by the husband was on point. He committed to being the best endo-husband he could be. He told the readers of how many heating pads they have and how it doesn’t take him long to heat them up for his wife when she has a flare up. He also talked about how he knows when to step in and tell his wife to rest and when he knows she can push herself. An endo-husband is a caretaker and without them us wives would be lost.

I want to thank my endo-husband. Thank you for baring with me during the last year. I know four surgeries was tough. Four surgeries were stressful emotionally, physically draining and mentally challenging. Russell has been there for the darkest days of my existence. He has seen my biggest fears with endometriosis. He attends IVF appointments to educate himself further. I also am thankful for my endo-husband because every day he tells me we are going to be parents and he’ll see me grow through motherhood. I’m thankful every second of the day for my awesome husband. I am thankful for the support, advice and love he has given to me in the last year.

Having endometriosis is debilitating, it’s frustrating but in the end endo is apart of me. I have learned and grown so much this last year and I hope that if you are following this journey I have taught you a little something about endometriosis that you didn’t know before.

Happy Endometriosis Awareness month March!!!!

Fertility meds-1 Me-0 — February 27, 2017

Fertility meds-1 Me-0

Our journey towards having a baby began last Monday. It was a long yet insightful meeting with our doctors at Kettering Reproductive Medicine. I also had an appointment last Friday to more less see where we are in the stages of having a baby. My ultrasound didn’t go as I had planned. I have two endometriomas not one and they could only find one egg. However, one egg is better than no eggs so I’ll take it. We decided that it’s best if we are able to try to conceive on our own for a few months before jumping into IVF. Not to mention this couple of months will allow us to become financially prepared if we have to pay for IVF. So I started a medication called Aygestin. It’s a medication that will help my body produce more eggs. It also causes nausea, vomiting, mood swings, headache and dizziness. I’ve been dizzy, nausea and even projectile vomited all over our bathroom last night. I told Russell my stomach hurt last night and knew I would more than likely throw up but I told him I was okay. Then I sat up and knew immediately I wasn’t going to last… thus running towards the bathroom and not making it all the way.

But I refuse to complain. I have woah is me moments and moments when I cry (like last night) but I won’t complain about my journey. If anything this is teaching me to be stronger, to know my body is going to reject medications and that I will cry. For anyone who reads my blog and doesn’t know me, I cry at the drop of a hat. I cry when I’m mad, sad, happy, or when I see those ASPCA commercials about dogs that need homes. I am learning that every woman’s journey towards getting pregnant is vastly different. Mine simply is harder. That doesn’t mean we won’t be blessed with a baby but our road is bumpier than others.

Continued positive vibes and thoughts for us as we continue on our journey to Baby Young!

Until next time,

xoxox

Daydreaming — February 23, 2017

Daydreaming

In my last blog I touched on how endometriosis changes a woman. I was scrolling through facebook today and came across an article from a page I follow called ‘Waiting for Baby Bird’. (Link is attached –https://waitingforbabybird.com/2017/02/21/an-open-letter-to-my-friend-struggling-with-infertility/)

If you don’t have time to read the article please make time. This blog hits home what every woman who suffers from infertility needs to read. It’s beautiful and brave in a way that speaks volumes. I wish there were more people like this in my life. I feel right now that a lot of people have been judging me for the decisions I have or have not made in the past. Some of these decisions resulting in friendships that are strained. Unfortunately, this is the side of infertility that I need support in. This article highlights what we need in those moments of darkness.

I had several moments of darkness and light this week. It started with our appointment on Monday. Our doctor is a very nice man who said we have a few options. We are making decisions on what is going to be best for us and taking everything one day at a time. My time of darkness came when he told me I have a 5x5x4.5 cm endometrioma inside my ovary. *WARNING: it’s about to get a bit graphic* Each month a woman has her period the lining of the uterus is shed along with the blood. When woman who have endometriosis have a period the lining of the uterus gets stuck on other parts of the body, such as the fallopian tubes, organs, where ever. Once the lining gets stuck to other organs it can’t be removed without surgery. Each month this happens. Well for me the lining of my uterus was shedding and going back into my ovary. At the same time that was happening blood was going back into my ovary and got trapped inside the lining causing a cyst that is not able to be removed. My endometrioma is more than 2 times the size of an ovary and for me I only have half an ovary so its pretty big. It is not able to be removed because the endometrioma is stuck inside my ovary with all my eggs. Removing the cyst would mean removing my eggs and that’s a risk I’m not taking. My endometrioma (otherwise known as chocolate cysts) will remain inside my ovary until it goes away on its own. If it doesn’t I’ll have to wait until after we are done having children to remove it. That was my dark moment of the week. I never would have guess that things looked worse than they were. I thought I was getting better but this feels a setback. However, thank goodness for Russell and his positive uplifting words. I am beyond thankful for him because he has been praying for us and our journey towards having a baby for a long time. Hearing him talk about how we are going to rearrange our home for a nursery gives me butterflies. I can’t wait for the day we get to experience it all…until then more daydreaming.

Until next time,

xoxo

How Endometriosis Changes You — February 14, 2017

How Endometriosis Changes You

Every young girl imagines how her future is going to be. She is going to meet a guy (whether its their high or college sweetheart), fall in love, get married and have a family. I know that was me. I also had a super huge wedding planned in a church but we all know that changed (and definitely for the better!).

One year ago I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I had had some really bad periods but like I’ve said in previous blogs I just thought it was normal and kept going. Then slowly but surely it became harder and harder to do things, simple things, like working out and walking around the block. That’s when I went to see my OB and we scheduled my first laprascopy. The rest is history. This past year has changed everything. I have had to put my life on hold to make sure I am healthy enough to do activities. What you don’t know is that I was hurting on my honeymoon in Hawaii. I didn’t tell Russell because those 16 days were the most magical and I was damn sure not going to let that get in the way. But here’s how endometriosis has really changed me. I don’t see anyone. I don’t go to lunch. I don’t go shopping. I don’t because I can’t. I can barely get myself out of bed in the morning without feeling some kind of pain. If you don’t have this disease it’s very hard to explain what the pain is like to others who don’t have it. It’s hard to explain that sitting on my couch with my hot hugs heating pad and resting is all I can do right now. I can go out occasionally for date night but I want to do those things because it helps strengthen my marriage. Also, Russell has been there through this entire journey and he has seen first hand what I am going through, so he’s really the only one I can count on to be there 100% of the time (besides my parents and siblings).

Endometriosis has taught me that you need to be thankful if you can get pregnant easily because for those of us that can’t, it’s more than challenging. Endometriosis challenges your mental state, your emotional state and your physical strength. I have had moments where I thought I’d never come out of being sad, angry and depressed. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to be around babies without crying. But what endometriosis has given me is the strength to talk about my feelings. I started this blog because I wanted people to know what websites don’t tell you. The amount of weight I gained and lost and gained again because of the hormones was awful. Endometriosis has taught me that I’m a fighter. Marcano’s fight to achieve a goal and I even though my last name is now Young, the Marcano in me keeps me fighting for a baby.

As I write this blog now I am staring at the paperwork that will get us started on our IVF Journey next Monday. This new chapter is daunting. The paper work seems like a mountain to climb. I am scared. I am nervous. I am anxious. I am feeling so many emotions that it’s hard to write them down. What endometriosis has taught me most is patience and faith. I have to have faith in order for this to work. I also have to have the patience to get from one appointment to another.

Endometriosis has changed me. Endometriosis has given me a voice I never thought I’d have. Endometriosis is scary and at times it seems impossible to get through, however, with Russell by my side I know I can do all things I set my mind to. I am hopeful that 2017 will bring a pregnancy and healthy baby into the world.

I appreciate all of you how continue to follow my journey and keep up with what is going on. I appreciate you more than you know. Your positive thoughts, words of encouragement and thoughtfulness mean more to me than you’ll ever know!

Until next time,

xoxox