Welcome to another late night post! The title of this blog is dedicated to my mommy. She saw that I got offended by a post going around social media. For those that haven’t seen the post it is an ultrasound of twins. People are posting that they’re pregnant only for the end of the caption to say we just wanted to say congrats to whomever is having these babies. It had been about the tenth time I saw the post and out of frustration I said it is really insensitive to post fake pregnancy announcements. Ya know, like the ones where everyone says they’re pregnant on April Fools Day, only for it to be a joke. Now after that I got feedback about my post, specifically from mommy. She said right now I’m too sensitive to be seeing things related to pregnancy so I should probably should stay away from social media. BUT we all know I have to play devil’s advocate here and now that I’m an adult I can (sometimes) go against what my mom says to do. (Although I could fail miserably while not taking her advice in the first place lol) She just understands what I’m going through, the serious amount of medication my body has undertaken over the last 18 months and the fact that it’s only going to get worse before it gets better. Anyway, I got some criticism saying that if we can’t find humor in some things then we’ll never be able to laugh at anything. So there are mixed reviews and my mom is just trying to protect me from getting my feelings hurt unintentionally by what one person posts. To be fair she is right. I’ve never experience a level of sensitivity like this. And for those who know me know I’ve always been a sensitive person but I feel like my emotions are a roller coaster. Not all days, but some days. There are days when I cry asking the universe why I’m not good enough for a baby. There are days when I’m angry or frustrated that I can’t get pregnant after 9 months of marriage. Then I just sit and wonder ‘why me’? I wonder if there is something I did in a past life to have to go through this now. Maybe it’s to make me appreciate the journey we are going on. AND speaking of journey’s, this Wednesday at 3pm I will be going to our IVF specialist for my Lupron shot! I have waited very anxiously to see what was going to happen. I’m so thankful for the nurses and Dr. Karnitis for doing everything they can to help us. From answering all my phone calls, voicemails, and seeing me when things seem to be a little less than urgent. I am blessed to have such an amazing support staff and although this shot is going to burn like hell it’s the very first step to take to get to IVF. This road is going to be long, expensive, and worth.every.penny. The day I get to create a life inside and hold my little baby Young for the first time will be amazing. I don’t even have words to describe that feeling now. All I can say is that feeling is a yearning. A yearning for someone I already know I love unconditionally. I have a yearning to hold them close to my skin, smell their sweet baby smell, all while delicately kissing each part of their face. Trying to become a mother is full of overwhelming, heartbreaking, hopelessness. But for us we can’t keep silent, even if people don’t understand. My goal is to just educate one person on how endometriosis can severely change the life of a young woman. So I’m sorry mom but I won’t be staying off Facebook because a message needs spread around the globe that women need more affordable healthcare for reproductive health. Infertility needs to be considered as a general service, instead of a specialty service that we no option but to pay out of pocket for. Infertility needs to be brought up because there are also women who can’t afford to seek treatment, therefore feeling lost. If I lose friends or lose supporters along the way through this, that’s on them. I’m on a mission and I Continue reading
I wanted to share with you all my “WHY” for wanting to raise more awareness for Shoes4theShoeless and have 100 pairs of shoes donated. There are so many reasons I wanted to do this but my first two are my most important. My main reason is for the kids whose families simply can not afford to buy a pair of shoes. These kids are already living below/ well below poverty. The last thing they should have to worry about is having a pair of shoes that fits them. Some, if not most, of the kids that we have serviced have signs showing their feet are being developed improperly because their shoes don’t fit right. Development issues result in kids not being able to walk properly or even run because their feet hurt. In the winter, their feet get cold because their shoes are so worn that snow gets in the bottom of them and gets their socks wet. We all know Ohio winters can be brutal. Could you imagine what it’s like to walk around school with your feet cold and wet all day? I know I can’t. The second reason I want to do this is for Bob. I can remember asking him if he knew of any organizations that I could join as apart of the volunteer portion for my pageant requirement for Miss Ohio Latina. I remember him telling me he had one in mind but he didn’t know if I was able to handle it because of how emotional I am. (Bob knew that seeing people in need broke my heart and children would just break me emotionally) After he told me about Shoes4theShoeless I knew that I had to join this organization. Because of Bob and how generous he was with anyone in our community, I knew this organization was made for me. The first delivery I did was at a school that was very impoverished. However, these were the sweetest kids I have ever met. They didn’t have much and giving kids shoes was very special. I’ll never forget going to work the next day and telling Bob about how amazing my experience has been. I’ll also never forget how proud he was of me that day. For anyone that knows Bob, he was a man of few words, and when he said “I’m proud of you” it meant the entire world to me. Being able to help carry on his legacy means so much to me, and by getting 100 pairs of shoes to donate, I know he would be proud.
It’s been a year since I started volunteering for Shoes4theShoeless. It’s been an incredible year. Not only have I been able to meet such wonderful and amazing kids, I have proven that you don’t have to be rich and famous to make a difference. Making a difference in our community means helping those in need. As one little boy said, “family helps family”. Making a difference in someone’s life is giving them something invaluable. To these kids a pair of shoes is invaluable. A pair of shoes means they can run free. A pair of shoes means they don’t have to see the worry in their parent’s eyes. A pair of shoes means these kids can go to bed without worrying about how their shoes smell or look, or whether or not they will be wearing socks that day. Please help me by donating a pair of shoes and finding out more about the organization that has changed my life.
Until next time