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Mind Over Matter

Today was rough, like really rough. Sundays are days that I can recharge ,de-stress  and get ready for the week ahead. Well not today. The universe had other plans for us today. Before we get into the horrible day I had I just want to say Sephora and Ulta are going t make me broke! After this weekend being busy I thought I deserved a little something for my hard work. I had no idea it was national lipstick day. The sales lady says all Anastasia Beverly Hill products are Buy One Get One Free and girl, we all know I’m all about lip products. So I ended up getting a Metallic Rose lip gloss and a Liquid Lipstick in the shade Dusty Rose. They are so perfect because anytime I see a Mauve lip color with cool pink or brown undertones sounds amazing to me! Then I also got the Fresh Beauty Lip Balm in the Caramel scent. It is amazing so far and I can’t wait to wear it around. Since we are almost to my birthday they let me pick beauty’s lip products or a mini glam glow face mask and moisturizer. Of course I went with glam glow! Then for having to wait a few extra minutes got me another free face mask! Sephora and Ulta are my happy places and I’ve got to slow down. But it’s my birthday month starting Wednesday s owe will celebrate all month-long!! Can’t wait to try the new mask because I used my Farmacy Mask tonight.

Now onto the not so good news. Russell and I have been planning and IVF fundraiser. We had the date set and I sent invitations to all my co-workers only for Russell to get a phone call to say another bar is having a golf tournament and they paid a lot of money and said they wouldn’t be there. I’m not gonna lie (because who has time for lies??) the second he said there was another even that day I say cancel it. God love Roanne because she is hosting the evening for us and she calmed me down and Russell calmed me down and all is right in the world. He said he wants to do it right (I expect nothing less from Russell considering he is a perfectionist)and this gives us more time to get everything accomplished on my goal list. I’m crying really hard and telling him I’m not mad that there is  golf tournament I’m mad because everything is falling apart very quickly. Russell thew out some dates what I literally told him I can’t do this anymore. And  by that I mean continue on with Lupron for another few moths. The side effects seem to be getting worse, the depression is awful and quite frankly I’m not the same person I was two years ago and he can tell. Russell is doing everything he can to make me comfortable but he feels so helpless. Then we are getting ready to watch a show before bed and my back is hurting. I told him it hasn’t felt like this in a while. Then I started crying because I couldn’t take the pain. Right after he rubbed my back and put some topical numbing creme on it I cried again! I’m just crying and apologizing because this is NOT how I pictured our first few years married, but no one with fertility issues does. Russell is always great to get advice from because he’s always been one to take what you’re saying, analyze ie and then come up with the best advice. He told me everything is mind over matter. When my body feels awful and I just want to lay on the couch I should stretch. The little nuggest of advice I’ve receive over the last 10 years has been great. I’m so glad to have him as my listener, my sounding board and my husband. He has gone through this with me side by side and I couldn’t do this without him. I have so much respect for him because I don’t know how he does it. On that note I’ll leave this here. And if you haven’t visited our go fund me what are you waiting for??

Until Next Time





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