I wouldn’t be able to end the week properly without some sort of post and the usual me complaining about my pain levels. I worked a shifted that literally kicked my ass and I feel like I won’t fully recover from this shift until Monday. Then another long week since its Valentines’ week. So by next Saturday I can’t imagine how I’ll be feeling. Until then let’s chat.
“No matter how tough and scary the storms get, you will make it through” –unknown
This quote is rather fitting because I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. A lot of the what if’s are popping up too. Ya know just the other day I was wondering what the next three months with a cycle and Lupron would be like. Would I end up coming out of that end a loser or a winner? Now, this situation is never going to happen because my Lupron has been approved by insurance and will arrive within the next week. So bring on the countdown to when I can feel back to normal and we start our IVF stuff. I’m not gonna lie I’m a little scared. This entire process is terrifying. I’ll never forget sitting in Dr. Karnitis’ office and he explained the entire procedure to use. It made me feel a little scared I don’t know how many embryos we’ll be able to freeze after they implant the number we do want. Then I don’t know if they’ll make it to stick. From there will they split? Will they remain their single bodied selves waiting to grow. I’m literally wondering right now where baby stuff would fit into my house. (I have officially lost my mind) And I can honestly tell you it’s things like that that are bothering me. Yes, I’m going to have to give myself shots in my belly, but remember I’ve done that twice before and I know it burns.
So here’s the one thing I’m not so sure about. There is a process when the embryos are made and are getting ready to come back into my body. Do we test them? Or do we go with my gut and not do it? The test is a PGS, preimplantation genetic screening. Refers to removing one or more cells from an embryo to test for chromosomal normalcy. I struggle with this because I do believe in a high power of the universe. I believe this higher being to be in control of my babies. My Reiki specialist has had dreams of my grandmother holding the souls of my daughters until they are ready to come live with us! I believe in the spiritual power and one that you try not to “fix”. However, if we have to go to these lengths to have a baby why not take the chance? Taking one cell out of the embryo won’t change them in any way. I guess I need to do more research and consult our doctor because everything has be finalized before May arrives. And I just realized May is going to creep up very quickly, after Valentines day we basically have one week left in February, then its March and we are talking about Endometriosis Awareness Month, and celebrating St. Patty’s Day. Then it’s April where we play tricks on people because its hilarious and singing April Showers Bring May Flowers. Then before you know it youre that person singing that song in MAY!
I would appreciate all the love and positive thoughts, feelings and hugs our way. The journey isn’t over yet…it has only just begun
Until Next Time