2016 was supposed to be the best year of my life, instead it’s turning out to be not so good. I will say though,that getting engaged and being engaged has really a been a big help. Planning a wedding has been amazing, fun and as stress free as it gets! I can’t thank Russell enough for having the great idea to go elope.
I know there are times when I am incredibly transparent with my journey through endometriosis. I share a lot of information and some people don’t always get it. But I share my story because the more people hear about my journey the more they’ll know about endometriosis and what it can do to a woman, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally. I won’t lie after my post-op appointment on Monday I felt so alone. I felt like no one I could talk to would be able to relate or get what I’m saying. No matter how many times I tell Russell what I’m going through and how I’m feeling, he’ll never really be able to understand because he doesn’t have this disease. This disease has taken away so much from me and I won’t let endometriosis take away my chance to become a mother. Monday was one of the worst days I’ve had in a very long time. Each time at my Post-Op appointments there has always been bad news. I think this time hit home more than the other two. I’ve cried all week, I’ve felt depressed, I’ve felt angry at those who have children or are pregnant. The feeling just comes out of nowhere and it is so overwhelming I can’t help but cry.
God made women to be able to bear children and I hope and pray every day that I’ll be blessed with children. I know this disease won’t go away until I have my last surgery.
Here’s to hoping for lots of baby dust in Hawaii!!!
Until Next time