Yesterday was hard day. Really this entire week has been hard. I’ve been stressing about surgery and what will happen in the future. I know the future is not something I can control, however, I still find myself wondering what will happen. Yesterday I had my third surgery in 6 months. Pain wise for this one was just about as bad as my partial hysterectomy. I’m resting now but it’s very hard to do things without help. I had a laparoscopy done, endometrial biopsy, chromopertubation, and a hysteroscopy. I’m sure many of you are asking “Angelica what the heck does any of that mean?” Well, my laparoscopy was done as usually, it was done in my first two surgeries, to allow my OB to see where my scar is and if it’s spread any more. The endometrial biopsy is taking a piece of my endometrium to be tested for any abnormalities. The hysteroscopy is normal, that just allows my doctor to look around and see if anything isn’t going right in my uterus. And lastly, the chromopertubation is a fancy term for poking holes in my ovary. Because insurance companies don’t cover A LOT of women’s reproductive health issues, the doctors and nurses have to find ways around procedures so the insurance companies do cover them. How crazy is that? The reason they poked holes in my ovary is to help give me the optimum chance to have as many follicles as I can get. Remember I only have 1/2 of an ovary so we are already behind the game here.

Yesterday surgery took about an hour and forty five minutes. I woke up in a lot of pain and just wanted to come home. Any one else just get that feeling after you’ve been in the hospital for so long that all you want to do is go home and lie in bed? That’s what I kept asking until they finally let me leave. I’m on bed rest and can’t do much. Sleep doesn’t go well because I can’t sleep on either of my sides. Getting up and around is hard because there are two incisions to add to my collection. They are located right on my belly button (or slightly above) and one a little further down. You never realize how many muscles in your stomach you need until you are restricted from using them.

My point with this blog post is to tell you it’s not been easy. I’ve receive a lot of criticism from people I thought were supportive. People are uncomfortable with my openness when it comes to endometriosis. I would apologize and say I’m sorry but I’m not. How many women can honestly say before they knew someone with endometriosis, or they are going through it themselves, knew what is was? Because I sure didn’t. No one ever informed me that I could have an invisible disease that could potentially stop me from having a baby. For those that don’t understand why I talk about my struggles, it’s because I want women to know it’s okay to talk about your struggles. It’s okay to ask questions about your body. It’s okay to be scared. I share part of my struggle with others in hopes that one day maybe the right person will read this blog and say, ” Hey maybe we should be talking about these issues and giving women more options when it comes to reproductive health care”. I’m not doing this to gloat or for anyone to feel bad for me. I know I am on this path for a reason. I know that in the end when I can hold a baby in my arms all this pain will be worth it.

until next time,

xoxo

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