Dayton, life, Ohio, pageant girl

Fear and Failure

I recently read a quote that reads:

” Do your thing. Do it unapologetically. Don’t be discouraged by criticism. You probably already what they’re going to say. Pay no mind to the fear of failure. It’s far more valuable than success. Take ownership, take chances, and have fun. And no matter what, don’t ever stop doing your thing.” –Asher Roth

This was very powerful for me. I see so many people making decisions based on what their parent’s, spouses, and friends think they should do. Do you know what my life would be like if I didn’t have a chance to make my own choices, follow my own path? Growing up my parents taught me brother and sister and I that we need to follow whatever dream we had. I could have said I wanted to be the head of NASA or a Ballerina and they would have been supportive. This quote made me think of the cultures where they focus more on the group, not the individual. I think of the people who take jobs because their families own a business and they feel obligated to work for the business, instead of doing what they are passionate about.

I wish we lived in a world where it was okay to express what you truly want. Instead we are afraid of being judged. We are afraid of what others will think and the negativity associated with our decisions. For example, when I decided to start my pageant journey I wasn’t sure how the people in my life would react. I didn’t know if they would be supportive or if they would brush it aside and think I am crazy. (Deep down I think they all knew I was meant to be on stage lol) The first person I asked was Russell because he is my partner in life and I value his opinion more than most. Of course he said I could do whatever I wanted to do. Well after I “failed” to place in the top 10 at Miss Ohio Latina I didn’t compete for a while, 8 months almost. What I didn’t realize was that failure put things into perspective for me. The judges at Miss Ohio Latina weren’t saying I wasn’t good enough, they were just saying they a different idea of the girl they wanted to represent Ohio. It took a lot of time and reflection for me to realize that I had what it takes, my crown was out there somewhere. After April I really felt like I could do whatever I wanted. If I set my mind to it I could accomplish it. I set my mind on winning a crown, and little did I know it would come a few short months later. I took a chance on myself, something I think we all forget to do. If we take a chance and give it all we’ve got, even if we fail at what we are trying to accomplish, we can say we did it, instead of I wish I would have. We need to take more time to reflect on what is lacking in our lives. They say your goals aren’t big enough if they don’t scare us. I have learned to not stop doing my thing because doing what I love is shaping the woman I am becoming. Be fearless. Be brave. Find the success within the fear of failure.

Until next time,


abortion, blogger, Dayton, Ohio, voting, women, women's issues

Planned Parenthood and why Ohio got it wrong…

Dear John Kasich,

I’m sure this blog post won’t find it’s way to you but as the governor of the state of Ohio, you have failed the women of your state. You see, you say you want to “respect the sanctity of human life” and by doing this means defunding Planned Parenthood. You see Mr. Kasich, you are wrong. Women of the state of Ohio, and all of the United States should have the option to do whatever they please to their bodies and if that means getting an abortion they should have that right. (I mean, you do realize Roe v. Wade passed for a reason right?) But we aren’t talking about abortion because Planned Parenthood doesn’t provide free abortions for young women. Planned Parenthood provides young women with birth control, health exams, and sex health education and without that ┬ámany young women will not be able to get the care they need. Think about that for a second. Because you and the other members of the Senate see the word abortion, you think the entire organization of planned parenthood shouldn’t exist. So what are we supposed to do now? These young women are not going to be able to get the birth control they need, have the knowledge of sex education or get their annual health screenings. So where are they supposed to go? And don’t say they are supposed to go to the gynocologist because Planned Parenthood was providing these services for free or little cost. So is the Senate going to provide a place for young women to go or are they supposed to go without? These young women are being denied very important services that you took away from them. I really think you and the other goons of the Senate should have thought long and hard about the decision you are making because it could end up backfiring. What happens if the rate of teenage births increases? What happens if young women start getting sick and they end up with cancer or other diseases that could have been detected had they been able to go to Planned Parenthood? Have you thought about that? Well, obviously you haven’t because you don’t think about things like that. All you see when you think of Planned Parenthood is abortions. Maybe if you took the time to interview and collect data from the young women who use the other services of Planned Parenthood, you would see how helpful this really organization is.


A young woman who stands with Planned Parenthood


“Girls don’t simply hate their bodies, we teach them to”

I know I’ve covered this topic in my blog but I just can’t help but bring it up again.


I am so sick and tired of people thinking that just because I CHOOSE to workout and eat right (most of the time) means that gives them a free pass to judge my body and what THEY think I should do with it. When someone says to you “Angelica, maybe you should go eat a cheeseburger.”, “Angelica can’t carry those plates, they weigh more than she does”, “Give the milk to Angelica she could use it” ….These are completely unacceptable things to say someone. I can’t help the way I look, the way my body is shaped. And why do people think they can do this? Is this their way of saying they are feeling insecure with how they look so in order to make themselves feel better they must say a negative about me?

Well guess what followers, every time you say something about my body it affects me. I don’t let you see it. I don’t verbalize it. But it does affect me and in ways you don’t think it would. Those who make comments about the way I look don’t understand the amount of self-doubt that crosses my mind. The guilt I feel for enjoying workout, eating a salad, or skipping dessert that night. I already struggle with the way my body looks. I don’t like how skinny my legs are or how there could be more weight in certain areas. I love food as much as the next person, if not more. I enjoy going to fairs and eating funnel cakes, ice cream, cheese fries, etc. but I also know there are portions and it’s okay to indulge every once and while.

The next time I want someone’s opinion on the way I look it will most likely be my personal trainer. If I wanted your opinion I would ask for it, otherwise please refrain from giving me unwarranted (and often times misguided) “advice” about MY body.

Until next time