Dayton, fashionista, life, Ohio, pageant girl, sex, shoe addict, thoughts, truth, women

What I would tell my younger self …

Growing up in this world is a very beautiful yet cruel thing. Growing up you find out who you are, what you want to be, who you want to grow to be in life. Growing up can also be weird and hard at times. Being a girl there are so many things in life we have to learn about, so many things that can only be self-taught and so many things we wish we could do over.

If I could go back and talk to my younger self this is what I would tell her:

1. You are enough.

Growing up I always wondered if I was good enough. Good enough for the friends I had, the boy I was dating at the time, or the job I had. I was enough? (There are still days that are a struggle and I have moments when I’m not sure of myself)

2. That boy who told you, you were ugly is stupid.

Let’s face it, teenage boys are dumb. They aren’t going to be right or know the right things to say to a girl. They are going to make you feel bad about yourself because they have raging hormones that they don’t know how to control.

3. Your first love is going to hurt like hell.

Learned this the hard way and twice. The first boy I ever fell in love with, I dated for two years. I loved him and I loved him hard. I gave him my heart and I thought he gave me his, twice. What’s the saying? Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me? Yes, I gave my first love a second chance. I thought we were going to be better but you can’t fix what’s already broken. I would go back and tell myself that loving him was going to feel the world is ending, but it isn’t. He is just going to be one chapter in your life. He will always hold a special place in your heart and you’ll always have wonderful memories, but he is going to make you stronger, not break you.

4. Your first time is going to awkward.

Your first time is NOT, I repeat, NOT going to be like it is in the movies. (thank you to the notebook for letting us down) It’s weird and exciting all at the same time. It’s definitely something you’re going to remember.

5. Life is a journey of up’s and down’s…enjoy it because tomorrow isn’t promised.

I have always been the kind of person to worry about EVERYTHING! I have always thought that making sure every aspect of my life was perfect would mean I would be happy. THIS IS FALSE!!! Let go, live a little. Be a free spirit. Don’t take your friends for granted and let go of the ones who really only want something for you.

6.. Spoil yourself.

If you see a pair of shoes, buy them! Don’t pass up a good sale and always remember fashion is the best way to express yourself!

Until Next Time!


black, breaking news, Dayton, lies, Ohio, race, racial issues, transparency, truth, white

Black or White?

Rachel Dolezal has started a conversation in America that we may not be prepared for. By Rachel Dolezal, born a white woman to a white family, saying she identifies as a black woman, the country is going to start the conversation of does race matter?

Yes race does matter. But being honest about who you are matters too. You can be a white person and identify as black. You can also be a black person and identify as white. All those things are fine. But if a black person altered their identity to look more white and told people things that weren’t true, that would become a problem.

Here’s my issue with Rachel. She lied about who she is. She changed her appearance, which is fine because how many times have we seen people alter their appearance to who they truly are. Bruce Jenner, Laverne Cox, and Aydian Dowling to name a few. These people were not afraid to change who they are and teach people that being your authentic self is very important. Here is how they are different from Rachel, they didn’t lie. They never lied about who they were previously. They have their own stories to tell but it seems Rachel has taken her “story” and tried to make a difference being a black woman. Did she think that was going to make her like other prominent black women in history?Did she think she could get away with this forever? Does she think she can tell people whatever they want to hear and they will believe her? Well so far, she has. She has told stories about an African American man being her father, which is simply not true. She is not black at all. She simply identifies as black.

But where is the line crossed? So what if she wants to have dreads, a perm or even darken her skin to get the “look” she wants. She crossed the line when she worked for the NAACP in Spokane and told people she is black. The NAACP is a highly prestigious organization that helps better black communities through the country. However, why couldn’t she have made a difference being a white woman? Was she afraid that the black community would shun her or make her work harder? Would she not be accepted like she wanted to be? Why did she feel like the only way to make a difference was to lie? Identify with what you want. Dress how you want. Do your hair how you want. Talk how you want to talk. But don’t lie.

Rachel Dolezal has sparked a conversation about what it means to be black or white, but I’m not sure it is for the right reasons. This country needs leaders who are going to be honest, forthcoming about who they really are. This country needs strong, level-headed, honest leaders who are going to be inspirations to future generations. These leaders should be people who aren’t afraid to be who they are. However, these leaders also need to be transparent. Without transparency there is not trust. Without trust there is unrest. With unrest comes violence.

I’m not sure Rachel truly thought through the consequences of her actions, the only thing she is thinking about now is the amount of money that will soon (if not already) be coming her way, since every news outlet will want to interview her. Every publisher will want her “story” and the production companies will want to tell the world who Rachel Dolezal really is.