Over the weekend I received news that someone very close to me passed away unexpectedly. This person was not only my boss but my mentor and a true friend.
You see, eight years ago I applied for a job at Longhorn. When I got the call back for my interview I was hired on the spot. Bob was the kitchen manager back then and I didn’t see a lot of him because we worked mostly in the morning and afternoon. Over the last eight years I have talked to him about a countless number of things. I have talked with him about my chronic migraines and he would tell me stories about his ex-girlfriend that had them. The looks on his face the gestures he made were enough to make me laugh. Every time I saw Bob’s car sitting in the parking lot I was happy because I knew it was going to be a good night. Although Bob was serious and wanted to make us the best Longhorn in Dayton, he also cared deeply for us. We were his pride and joy. We meant a lot to him. At our last meeting he stood in front of us and cried, said he failed us and he was going to do better. But what he didn’t realize was that he never failed us. He never failed anyone. He was living up to our expectations and so much more. Yes, he had a lot on his plate but he was always there when we needed him. He was there for the community too. He was involved in countless organizations making sure everyone had what they needed. His legacy will not stop because each of us at Longhorn Moraine is going to carry on his legacy. We are going to make sure that we carry him through everything we do.
So my question is, is there really a way to deal with death? I loved Bob so much. There were so many things I wish I could have told him. I have cried, I have laughed, I have screamed and yet I still feel an emptiness in my soul. Everyone grieves differently. For me its crying on and off, trying to hide my feelings but knowing that eventually they are going to come to the surface. I don’t think there is any specific way in which we should grieve. Grief is a long process, sometimes harder than others.
I will never forget bob’s infectious laugh or the simple shrug he would give when he didn’t know the answer to something or he didn’t want to tell us. I’ll never forget the endless jokes and the last conversation I was able to have with him. I lost a great man in my life. I lost someone very near and dear to my heart. He will always be with me. I will carry on his legacy. I will not ever let him down.